Out of control?

True Williams (1839-1897) [Public domain]

Once in a while every teacher has a day  when things just  spiral  out of control. Maybe it's one class... maybe it seems like the whole day is crazy. We have a cold or don't feel one-hundred percent; maybe  we had little sleep the night before. Students are suddenly pulled out for a photo session. Nothing seems to go according to plan. 

This happened to me recently.  A class that was challenging- but manageable- suddenly seemed to slip from my fingers. Several students were transferred to my class on the same day, in the middle of a lesson.
A teacher's worst nightmare. Things felt out of control. I felt out of control. Emotions were flaring in me that, thankfully, are rare  these days. 

When this happens, we often move into "fix-it" mode.  Move some seats; call home; check with the counselors; change the lesson plan; fill out forms for the office; yell; assert yourself; give stern lectures; try psychology 101; call the behavior specialist... in fact, all of these may be called for at one time or another.   

But there's  relief in stopping to reflect that  ultimately, things are the way they are, largely due to causes and conditions beyond our control. No matter how good a teacher I am, I will not be successful with every class, every student, every day. It's just not possible. 

One of the causes is simply immaturity. We know that development of the thinking part of the brain, the pre-frontal cortex, is not fully complete till a person's mid-twenties. And also, we may have students in our classes with serious clinical (mental) or behavioral issues. 

It can help to take the long view- these issues have been going on for centuries. 

In the classic American novel, The adventures of Tom Sawyer,  Mark Twain pens a number of scenes where the adults are desperately trying to shape- or "fix"- old Tom and Huck. Teachers, Sunday school leaders, empathetic widows- all struggle to impart their wisdom to the boys, hoping to transform them into decent, upright members of society. In one scene, Aunt Polly tries a number of home remedies to cure Tom of his melancholy. She even resorts to "painkiller", basically alcohol, which Tom passes on to the cat. At the end of her machinations, no change. Tom is still as depressed as ever. 

 It's as if Twain is saying, try as we might, human nature is what it is, and how  character changes, if at all, is a great mystery. Sometimes we just have to wait until  kids are all grown up, their gray matter fully in place. Or we just have to let life itself be their teacher. 

This is not meant to minimize the very real issues of stress,  chaos, and violence  that some teachers face, many on a daily basis. They need all the help they can get. Teaching is a lot more complicated than it was in 1875, when a teacher just whipped his way to order. (Notice what happens to adults who try that today.) And, teachers then could probably count on parental support in ways they can't today. 

Part of mindfulness practice is being aware of what we can and cannot control, and coming to terms with that. It also involves seeing that much of what we experience is not personal. Events are shaped by factors far beyond our control. 

But we can have some impact on what we attend to, and how we relate to things that we do encounter. I have found that even in my most difficult classes, I can find moments of peace and joy: ringing the bell and listening to the rise and fall of the tone; taking a couple deep breaths;  focusing on a student who is having having success; offering praise to someone who is trying their best. 

And perhaps most importantly, is self care. When things aren't going well, we can remember to take some mindful moments to care for ourselves, and to offer ourselves some compassion.  As my friend Jon once reminded me, we're just human.